One of the most encouraging and affirming books I read is the Bhagavad Gita. In it is a passage that teaches it is better to live out your own life with all your imperfections than struggle to imitate into another person’s idea of perfection.
I’ve met a lot of posers. I’m sure I’ve been one at times, too.
How many times have I nearly driven myself crazy trying to be perfect and what I thought “he” wanted, or to fit in with a certain group of “friends?” What I would inevitably always come to find is that even my “perfect” version for him, her, or them still didn’t work out to be a good fit for the relationship, whatever was the dynamic. I also experienced people trying to be “perfect” for me, and the result (always) ended weirdly and sometimes even sadly.
The rugby fellow is soooo not perfect! He and I established very early on that he actually embodies the opposite of what I considered to be a perfect guy. He pointed out that he is actually the “polar opposite” of “my type.” And I’m pretty far off the mark of women that he’s sought out and dated. But I have to say how incredibly damn nice it is to be “Raw Jennifer” and as messy and clumsy and imperfect as I am as Me (which even included me acting as a little bit of a madwoman), he is willing to take in what he sees, and speaks in “we.”
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” ~Judy Garland (BTW — Happy Birthday, Dame!)
And imperfect destiny versus perfect imitation makes me think of a daisy. A daisy is not the most visually striking or intoxicatingly fragrant flower. She’s not exotic, luscious, suggestive, or even coy. But a daisy is a daisy, and who doesn’t smile at the sight of a daisy, hmm?