I’m still tackling laundry and restoring order to life following my jarring return to reality. Today… will be interesting…. As I listen to a cd Guy burned me when we first started dating, I’m getting ready for Abbie’s vinyasa flow class, after which I will lounge in a steam room to try to clear out my pores – I’m obsessed with pores. I stare in magnified mirrors. Obsessed.
And then, in the midst of flowing and sweating and cleaning, I have to figure out something to do this afternoon because I totally refuse to go on the date activity Mr. Blind Date dude suggested. I’m an asshole, but I absolutely refuse to go to… I’m so ashamed I can’t even say it. In fact, some would probably state a case for me to cancel just on his stupid suggestion alone. And it probably makes me an asshole, and maybe this is another example of reasons why Jennifer is single, but I, at least, am an asshole willing to go totally Alpha and Type A and present a better alternative than the incredibly lame and just I’m-actually-so-embarrassed-for-the-inept-suggestion-I-feel-physical-pain suggestion. Ugh! I would ask if there is anything more awkward than a blind date… and then, I thought, yeah there is. Pap smears. Those are pretty awkward. Even though my gynecologist manages to do the world’s fastest, it’s still quite awkward, and I’d rather do a blind date than that.
And you may be wondering why am I going? Gotta get back in the saddle, and seeing as how I’m over a thousand miles away from Montana, I gotta get my giddy’up and go in my own single gal, Phoenix, dating style. And, I’m really hoping, by having such deflated expectations, I surprise myself and enjoy the date, for I am a constant consequence and sucker for my own great expectations.And, because I trust the source producing the willing man, and from the little that I know, he’s going to be awkward but if we make it through (I can’t remember if she said to or through) Date Two, I may find myself totally and smittingly charmed. And, maybe I feel pain because I don’t want to judge, because the dude works with professional athletes for a living and so I can’t expect he really is dialed in to women’s interests.