Whinge, Whine, Wine | I Walk the (PhD) Line

Last night, I was about ready to make myself vomit. I took the day off of work, so I could grade and finish my pre-residency work. And I just procrastinated in the worst possible way, all… day… long! I’d been blogging, photo-editing, searching flights on Orbitz, and mapping my next-weekend’s road trip path on Google maps.
 
I forced myself to walk out of Lollipop Vintage without the super cute floor length, column skirt that hugged my hips like a perfect opera glove. I cleaned my kitchen, did laundry, and straightened up my dining room and my bathroom, and changed out my sheets as I won’t have time for that on Saturday (residency, ugh). I even cleared off and straightened up my desk.
 
And Bestie Girl called me at about 9:00 (midnight her time) to which I wailed and I ranted, and I flung my wine glass around as I moaned and groaned that I was spinning and didn’t know what to do for this presentation to cover on my career trajectory. 
 
And Bestie said something like this, 
“So this is for your PhD?’
(me: yes)
“That you really really like studying?”
(me: yes)
“That you’re paying a lot of money to take?”
(me: yes)
“That really inspires you and challenges you and makes you feel like you’re learning?”
(me: yes)
“Then you just need to get over yourself, dear.”
 
SNARL!
 
The clock on my Mac revealed a time later last night that was 1:26 am. And scraping for some sort of direction, I reviewed my presentation of my purpose for my PhD that I drafted and presented in May 2009 for my first residency week. The time stamp on that document was May 14, 2009 @ 1:20 am. Two and a half (almost) years ago, I was in a very similar space, mentally. Stalled, spinning. And so, I revisited my path and before I decided to write about where I think I should be, I would focus on where I’ve been.
 
And that was… frigging great. in a really great, not sarcastic or snotty way. I helped myself reset and reflect, and after spending the last nine hours in a classroom with my other doctoral learners and soaking in nine straight hours of my body of work, I have more energy already, after this one day, than I felt in a very long time. Reset. Reflect. 
 
And think about next Friday, that launches my planned road trip with two beauties who will accompany me through a little journey that involves some vintage Route 66…
 
 

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